In case you hadn’t already heard, the Olympics are on. My spies tell me that London is 2012’s host city. I say this with a slight hint of irony (isn’t every other sentence on this blog infused with it?) as I am told that the levels of excitement in anticipation of this epic event have reached levels of near hysteria back home. As I’m not a fan of hysteria, I’m glad to have missed out.
Still, there’s no avoiding the fact that the Olympics are here, even if you have emigrated to foreign shores to avoid the incessant media coverage. However, Girl in Czechland is not sporty – I spent the last year of high school hiding in the library reading Virginia Woolf during P.E. – and so it’s hard to take a passing interest in the event, even if it is being held in my home country. I most certainly didn’t think I’d bother to write a post about it, until I saw the Czech hopefuls’ uniforms.
Gasp in horror then chuckle loudly as you take a look at these:
The multicoloured cropped leggings are perhaps forgivable once you remember that many Czechs are stuck in a style time warp circa 1985, but what about the footwear? Wellies? Are you being serious? What sporting activities can be carried out in those apart from puddle splashing and – erm, wait, that’s about it. Self appointed style guru, Jakub Lohniský, author of blog Muži v česku (Men in Czechland – you see a connection?) also thinks the uniform is a sartorial disaster: “Wellingtons? For god’s sake! This year the circus won’t just be in Letná but in London too.”
It seems the style gods have decided to save the cruelest punishment for the Slovaks. Check out their get-up:
Words fail me – for once. Aren’t you Slovaks supposed to be more stylish than your Czech cousins? It’s hard to disagree with Muži v česku‘s verdict: they really do look like illiterate herdsmen rather than athletes. And how exactly are those hats supposed to help impove one’s sporting prowess? Take a look at the rest of Jakub Lohniský’s entertaining post to check out the best and worst of the other nations’ Olympic outfits.
Anyway, I’ve been teasing Czechman about the issue of the wellingtons. Czechs don’t know anything about fashion, here’s just another sad example of that fact, blah, blah, blah. However, it seems that the blue wellies have been a big hit and are fast selling out in shops back here in Czechland.
Czechs, I beg you! Listen to Ms Girlová! Wellies are not an everyday fashion item! You are only permitted to wear them on the following occasions:
a) at a musical festival where wearing them you get 10 points for cool as even Kate Moss dons a pair
b) in an urban environment when it is actually raining heavily but even then only when you’re under the age of 10
c) that’s it
Ok, enough fashion advice. Here’s a quick culture test: can any of you non-Czech readers correctly identify the reason why this athlete is nibbing a potato?
Kateřina Emmons missed out on gold, silver and bronze in the air-rifle eventbut fortunately the Czechs have something special for competitors who come in fourth: the bramborové medaile – in other words, a potato medal! So this is the land of Jára Cimnman after all. Anyway, by watching the Olympic coverage in the pub I managed to pick up a tasty new Czech expression. If I’d known that sport could be so educational, I’d have spent less time in the library and more time out on the hockey pitch. Perhaps…