Monthly Archives: February 2012

Girl In Hospital

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Hello. It’s been a while. But I have a really good excuse though this time.

I’ve been in hospital. For quite a while.

I wasn’t going to blog about my medical adventures in Czechland. However, I’m afraid there’s just too much good material that I have to share with you all.

Like the doctor who asked me whether I preferred English or Czech men while stroking my inside thigh. Fortunately I was wearing pyjamas at the time.

My English friends said I should report him. “You’d be struck off in England for less,” my sister commented.

Czechman just laughed.

Let’s just say that doctor-patient boundaries must be less influenced by political correctness over here than in the UK.

My main doctor was a lovely lady who made no sexual advances on me. She also spoke fluent English. I still got plenty of Czech speaking practice though. Managing to formulate even the most basic utterance in a foreign language which has seven cases while in considerable discomfort is something of an achievement in my view. I became particularly good at politely begging the nursing staff for pain relief.

What I actually mean is that I screamed “DEJ MI DROGY!” at the top of my voice until they sedated me.

There was quite a bit of screaming on the ward. The man in the bed opposite me, who would barely say two words to his family when they came to visit, would suddenly come to life at 4am when he would yell expletives at the nurses trying to help him. Fun times.

Czech hospital was of course Czechland in microcosm so there were plenty of those little cultural differences that I like to observe. Like being forced to drink copious amounts of herbal tea instead of water.  Or being given two rohliky and an entire packet of ham for breakfast. And again for dinner.

Or the nurse who practically accused Czechman of being a wife beater because he hadn’t brought me a dressing gown. Poor Czechman. Despite the nurse’s dim view of my lack of suitable nightwear, he does definitely have his mother’s genes and took very good care of me indeed.

Overall, it could have been worse. I could have been in hospital in England in which case I probably would have ended up with a superbug and bedsores.

And in case you were wondering, I’m doing much better now and plan on incorporating regular blogging into my recovery programme. Watch this (cyber)space.



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