Take a look at this picture. Now tell me what you can see. Pretend it’s some kind of exercise to hone your powers of observation. Or, if English is not your native tongue, a test of your fluency skills.
There’s a man sitting at a table. He seems to be – how can I put this politely? The wrong side of chubby. Corpulent. Beyond big boned.
He’s eating a calorific but no doubt tasty combination of chicken (or duck?) and dumplings. He’s also swigging what we can only presume is beer from a large tankard. However, he’s not in a pub. Or a restaurant. He can’t be: what Czech pub do you know that has complimentary grapes on the table?
This gentlemen isn’t relaxing in the comfort of his own home either. And in case you were wondering, it isn’t Czechman or even Czechman’s father, grandfather or uncle.
This image is part of an advertisement.
For what? I hear you cry. Artery furring cuisine? Cures for baldness? Pine furniture of questionable taste?
Well done: the final option is correct. This man is trying to tempt you to purchase česky dřevený nábytek or Czech Wooden Furniture as the company seems to have imaginatively called itself.
There is one thing that puzzles me however. If Czech Wooden Furniture really want to see their charming pine dressers flying out of the shop, why don’t they just have a naked girl representing their products instead? The preferred Central European marketing strategy of most firms trying to flog unsexy products seems to be “make a calendar with a naked blonde hottie in it posing near our products and give it to our clients.” You would think so anyway, given the number of the things I see brightening up offices all over Prague on my English teacher travels – or should I say travails.
We’ll be buying our furniture from Ikea. Just in case you were wondering.
* Yes, I did decide to start this post with a truly appalling pun, based on the very slight similarity between “grape” and “great”. Sorry.